Persistent Punning!

Presenting a peculiar, persuasive, and profitable profusion of Pages, Portions and Pieces, in Poetry and Prose, perspicuously, prudently, and politely proclaiming, picturing and portraying the pains, perils, pests, pranks, pinchings, poutings, provocations, perturbations, privations, and penances perpetually produced, provided and promised by that perverse, pernicious, preposterous and pertinaciously-persisted-in propensity – PHILOPROGENITIVENESS – a propensity so prodigiously prevalent to all periods, past and present. Purchased, procured, preserved, and now philanthropically and patriotically produced (pro bono publico) from the ponderous portfolio of that provident, privileged, painstaking, page-perusing and page perpetrating personage, MALTHUS MERRYFELLOW, who has considered bearing in all its bearings!